Pensive Ava

Ava refuses to wear her CI's first thing in the morning.  Upon awakening, she wants to play a little by herself and eat breakfast in total silence.  During this time she becomes very pensive and deep in thought.  Shortly after she eats, she asks for her CI's and is ready to hear.  Hearing folks may not understand this. How could she not want to hear all the time? Why does she do this?  I'll tell you.  Having that ability to choose not to hear is bliss.  I love taking my out hearing aids at night, and sleeping in total silence.  I also, as a little girl, would not put my hearing aid in right away when I woke up, and would prefer to eat my cereal in silence.  It was my time to lose myself to my thoughts.  I was not ready to be bombarded with all the noise that my busy bustling household brought.  I'm telling you, the silence is so peaceful and relaxing. I love it.

Ava, I totally get it.

Social Interactions of Kids with hearing loss in School

My husband and I attended at lecture at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto last week.  The topic discussed was Social Interactions of Kids with Cochlear Implants in School. The guest speaker was Dr. Janet Jamieson, associate professor and director of the Program in Education for the deaf and hard of hearing at the University of British Colombia.  She has conducted extensive research on peer interaction among hard of hearing children and their hearing peers in elementary school.  Her research was designed to explore the challenges and coping skills of hard of hearing children (she stressed her research was in relation to kids who have hearing loss; not necessarily with cochlear implants - although she found similar results in the little research that has been conducted exclusively with implanted children) who are integrated into regular classrooms in terms of establishing and maintaining friendships.

It is very likely (but not always) that the hard of hearing child will feel socially isolated and withdraw at times because communication in a mainstream school and outside in the school yard can be difficult.  It could be because they have trouble following rapid fire verbal exchanges between their peers, or not understand the quick rule changes that children may make in their daily play, or perhaps your child feels left out because they don't know the lyrics to popular songs, or maybe they misinterpret subtle social cues.  Perhaps they have trouble knowing what to say if they just want to be included with a group of other kids already engaged in an activity.  Some deaf children just need encouragement and a boost, to help them seek and build friendships.

Here are a few tips that Dr. Jamieson provided to help boost your child's self esteem and encourage friendship building:

1.  Usually all a child needs is at least one good friend at school.  Invite this child over to your house, often.

2.  Consider signing up your child for after school activities that encourage social interaction, such as a sports team or drama.  Encourage a friendship with a team mate outside of the regular team practices/games.

3.  Model how you would have your child join in a group of other children playing.  For example, if a group of boys have been playing with trucks at recess, send your child to school with a truck and have him just walk over to the group and start playing with them.

4.  Get to know the parents of your child's peers.  For example, Ava's older sister Lauren, who is 7, was upset about a particular classmate who was bossy and a bit of a bully.  I got to know this classmate's mother and initiated having this classmate come over for a playdate.  Now, Lauren and this classmate are good friends and regularly visit each other's homes.

5.  If your hard of hearing child participates regularly in a group sport activity at recess (such as kicking around a soccer ball with a bunch of other kids), research showed that that child was as popular or more popular. 

6.  We have to realize that sometimes our child enjoys solitary or quiet play and that is ok.  It does not necessarily mean she has withdrawn from group play due to a hearing issue. 

A few of my own tips:

7.  Print off the lyrics to the popular songs for your child (clean version of course!)

8.  Learn the rules to common school yard games and lyrics to jump rope songs and practice with your child.

9.  Another mom always buys the latest tech gadgets for her older implanted child (iPod touch, smartphone) so that they can text with their friends and not feel left out.

10.  As soon as your child starts school, have them do a show and tell about their hearing aids or cochlear implants.  Have your child explain, with confidence, why they are wearing equipment on their ears and how it works.  Practice with your child what to say if someone at school asks "what are those things on your ears/head?"

If you have any additional suggestions that may be helpful, I would love to see them.  Please post a comment with your suggestions!

Friendships




Sara and Ava

 

Ava had her first school mate playdate. Little Sara's mother overheard Ava and Sara at school making plans to go to each other's houses for a playdate. How dang cute is that? They are only 3 years old! So, Sara's mom and I arranged to get the girls together for their first real playdate. It was a huge success.  Afterall, these two monkeys attend pre-school together 3 days a week plus a pre-school program run by the City of Toronto on Monday afternoons.  "Sara is my best friend!", Ava proclaimed after Sara had left.  The best part of the playdate? Just listening to the two girls converse while playing with Ava's Petshop toys and not noticing any difference between their language skills.  Mission Accomplished. We've already booked their next playdate.  And coincidentally, Sara and Ava will be attending the same school for kindergarten next year.  I've got a feeling this is the start of a long lasting, beautiful friendship.

Ten On Tuesday and Speech Sample

1. Ava's left processor went kaputz a couple weeks ago. We were so worried that it was the internal device. The processor kept flashing a slow amber light. We swapped everything out to no avail. Even though the processor appeared to be working fine (we could hear sound through the listening headphones), problem was solved when Cochlear exchanged it for another processor. All is well now. In light of the recent recall on the N5 internal devices we were naturally very very concerned! Cochlear customer service was pretty impressive and attentive. I got a replacement shipped to me overnight.

2. I had Ava's first parent teacher interview at school. She is doing amazing! She is very helpful in getting other kids to follow through with teacher commands and prompts. She acknowledges all her peers as they come in to the class. She plays so nicely with everyone. She actively participates in sing alongs and circle time. She just loves her school and her teachers. She is so happy there. I was so pleased to learn that quite a few of her classmates will be going to to same school as Ava for kindergarten next year! This social interaction with her peers is so important.

3. Ava is consistently speaking in 6-7 word sentences now. So proud of her.

4. One of Ava's goals is to break her habit of referring to herself in the third person. For example she might say "Ava wants more juice please" instead of "I" . She is now using I, you, my, mine about 85% of the time.

5. There's a little girl in Ava's class that can read already! So I thought, why not Ava? I saved all of Lauren's sight words from kindergarten and got out a few two- letter words to start with. Ava is now reading the words "up, no, is, a, I, me". I also have her find those words in a book. Once mastered, I will add another 5 words. Why not give her a head start? She really enjoys learning the new words. At the same time she has started with phonics- learning the letter sounds. She has learned "S" and "M".

6. We have a big plastic calendar hanging on the wall. Every day we talk about the date, add the day's number and sing the days of the week. We talk about the day's weather and what we did "yesterday" and what day it will be "tomorrow".

7. Here's a speech sample. Ava is 3 years 4 months. She's had her CI's for 2 1/2 years. She is discussing the days of the week with her 6 year old sister Lauren.







8. I asked Ava's school for the lyrics of all the songs she is learning. At home we practice the songs to improve her articulation of them. She tends to rush through the songs sometimes and you can't always understand her words.

9. Amazing CI moment #326. I asked Ava's playdate in our basement playroom "where did Ava go?" . Ava, having overheard this, answers me from the upstairs bathroom which is off the laundry room "I'm right here Mom upstairs in the bathroom!" WOW.

10. I downloaded the Blogger app from my iPhone. I can now blog from my phone. The only thing I can't seem to do is post a video using the app. So I had to do that from my desktop. Pretty cool though.

Thankful!

Today is our Thanksgiving here in Canada. There are many reasons to be thankful today. Here are my top reasons to be thankful. I am thankful for.....


1. Cochlear Implants - which allow my deaf child to hear and speak.


2. Hearing aids - which allow myself and my hard of hearing child to hear.


3. My husband, who is my best friend.


4. A roof over my head.

5. Food on the table.

6. Always having a job available should I need to go back to work. In fact I am working temporarily this month at my old job, which I love.

7. My children. They are my purpose.

8. Bonus time with my mother-in-law. She is 90 and survived a stroke. She is back in her own home and nearly fully recovered.

9. the friendships that my high functioning autistic son has made in highschool. It is my wish come true.

10. My CI and HA blog friends that I hope to someday meet in person (you know who you all are - I don't want to leave anyone out). We give each other such hope, inspiration and encouragement when we need it most.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Keep the conversation going.

We've spent the last two years teaching Ava to learn to listen and speak. She can talk about her feelings. She can listen to a story and is starting to understand and answer "why" questions. She can recall events that happened at school. She is beginning to understand the concept of yesterday, today and tomorrow. These are all prerequisites to having a conversation. You know, the back and forth talking between two people. Typically with a toddler, it can be difficult to have a real conversation where you and your child can go back and forth about one topic for more than a sentence or two. Up until now, many questions would require a simple yes or no or one word response. "Do you want milk or juice?" "Where's daddy?" "Did you have fun at school?" etc etc. Now, it is time to expand this to include why questions and to keep the conversation going for more than a sentence or two. I found it difficult at times with Ava as she would lose interest sometimes. However, Ava LOVES to play pretend games where she would get out her dollhouse figurines and will designate me to be the "mommy " and she would be the "daddy" or "sister" or whatever character she chooses. I found that when we engaged in this type of play, Ava could go on and on back and forth with conversation between these two pretend characters. To keep her interested, we made paper bag puppets together and then we would engage in our "conversations".....hi dog. hi cat. do you want to play with me? ok, what should we play? ummmm let's play chase. Great idea. ok i go first and you chase me. ok? ok, let's go. I'm tired now. Why are you tired? too much running. I'm hungry. What would you like? I want some crackers. Do you want crackers too? ok......

In addition to her 3 morning/week preschool, Ava has ballet classes on Saturday mornings and a preschool program run by the City on Monday afternoons. She sees her TOD weekly.

As for her TOD visits, we started doing the letter sounds and printing! So exciting! Last week we started with the letter "S". We learned a song about the "s" sound and pointing out words that start with the "s" sound. We practice printing the "s" everyday. Ava is also using a calendar everyday to learn the days of the week as well as the weather. We also go to the library every two weeks to sign out a ton of books. The books she enjoys now are getting more and more complex and advanced. We are so pleased by this. The work never ends. But she will be well prepared for junior kindergarten next year. I've been told for our deaf kiddos, it is beneficial to try to get them ahead, especially with vocabulary and language comprehension, so that their transition to mainstream school will be seamless.

Ten on Tuesday!

1. Ava is starting school in a couple weeks! Oh, pardon me, as Ava would correct me, "I'm going to PRE school!" She is very excited and points out her school everytime we walk by "that's MY school"). She will be attending 3 mornings/week.

2. We have had such a good, enjoyable and fun summer. She spent a lot of time swimming. She has no fear. She swims the shallow end, deep end, dives for pool sticks...all by the age of 3 and nary a swimming lesson (other than by mom). Wow.

3. Ava is speaking so well! We couldn't be more pleased. She continues to show noticeable progress all summer. She is becoming more accurate with her tenses (using "ing" and "ed" endings). She frequently will repeat phrases she hears us say at random times - such as "what are you talking about?" (in the sarcastic context - a phrase I use with my teenage children).

4. The pre-school Ava is attending is Silver Creek Preschool. It serves children with all kinds of special needs together with typically developing children. They do use a total communication approach, which incorporates oral, sign and visual aids (for the non verbal children or those with communication disorders). I didn't choose the school because Ava is deaf. I chose it because it is also an excellent nursery school for typically developing neighbourhood children. There will be other kids with no issues who will be good language models for Ava. Ava's older sister Lauren also attended the school and had a wonderful fulfilling year doing all the regular pre-school stuff. They also provide speech therapy (if needed) and music therapy. The school will work with Ava's itinerant TOD in preparing a list of goals for her. Also, the school is literally a 3 minute walk from our home.

5. Ava will resume her weekly sessions with her TOD (Teacher of the Deaf) in September. The role of the TOD is to act as a link between Ava's school and her family. She will make sure all of Ava's needs are met at school and also will continue to monitor Ava's speech and language development. She will also continue to work with Ava on academic concepts thus giving Ava a head start for kindergarten next year.

6. Ava is finally in a bed and is sharing a room with her sister. The girls love being roommates. Ava also decided she wasn't going to wear pull-ups anymore at night. Pro: She has been accident free since. Con: she gets up every night around 3am to pee and will sometimes roam around (she is the heaviest walker and thumps around like an elephant) before she goes back to bed.

7. Ava has a Mapping next month. Looking forward to having her processors tweaked.

8. Ava's oldest sisters are leaving this weekend to move into their dorms at university. It's an emotional time for me. Try to imagine your kid leaving home and living somewhere else. Yeah they'll be back some weekends, yeah, they'll be home for the summer. But its not the same. They are living somewhere else. When its your firstborn, it is such a huge adjustment. At home, you know they're safe and snug in their own beds for the most part. You still have some control over their well being. That is all changing now. They have to make their own decisions as to safety and judgment in certain situations. I'm so excited for them, but inside, I'm mourning a loss.

9. Sometimes Ava likes to leave her CI's off for a while. Such as after swimming, she doesn't want them back right away and likes to play around deaf (and naked too lol). She loves exerting her independence!

10. Our life with Ava couldn't really be any more "normal". I continue to stress this because with her CI's, Ava is a hearing child. We are so grateful for her CI's and her ability to hear so well with them. I grew up with hearing loss. My honest to God opinion? Right now? It is no.big.deal. It's life. Our life. Life is what you make it. Don't look the other way. Don't look for what ifs or whys. Just live the life you are given and accept it. Strive to do all things possible to help your child maximize his or her potential and believe you, as his or her parent, ARE doing EVERYTHING possible. Then just ......be. Life truly is precious.